hello, goodbye

Every now and then I think of my blog and I don’t even know where to start. Over the past 5 years I’ve built up a body of work that I’m proud of, I’m just not sure if it’s me anymore.

For so long I was more invested in what everyone else was doing that I think I lost the essence of what this site was once originally. My very first blog posts were all introspective pieces about me, my life and the things I’ve experienced. In an effort to be come more commercial I branched off into writing about press days, new releases and wish lists. 

The I stopped doing that and started writing more about fashion and really concentrated on my content, photography wise. I love some of the content I produced during this period but again, some of it ain’t me. I used to feel a bit stressy about not having brand new looks to shoot like many of the top bloggers. I got caught in the trap of thinking style was wearing what’s new and in trend and not what personifies you. 

Then college started getting heavy and so did work. Then college ended and work got even heavier. And my blog just seemed less and less important by the day. 

To be honest, in a way, I got all I could out of it. I have met my closest friends, been given some incredible opportunities, helped get a job and gained so much invaluable experience and knowledge about this industry (cause that’s what it is now). Fuck I even wrote a 20,000 word dissertation on influencers. I also know more inside secrets and scandals than you could imagine (but this is not a tea spill cause I ain’t no snitch lol). 

But there’s more to me than this. Im not a clueless 18 year old anymore. I’m a 24 year old working professional. I have a full time job that takes up a lot of my time but I love it. I am a step mom of sorts. I have way too many interests to just follow one. Some that I share but so many that I don’t. Did you know I’m a huge sci-fi (+tv in general) nerd? I’ve watched well over a hundred tv series to their completion. I also am a hardcore punk rocker and listen to FOB, PATD, YMAS, BMTH, Good Charlotte etc every damn day. I pick up new arty hobbies constantly and get bored of them quickly. 

I am not a fashion blogger. I am so much more than that. But none of this felt “on-brand” enough to talk about. But what the hell even is on brand for me? I’m not a brand, I’m a person. A real person with real emotions, hopes and dreams not some curated figure thought up by a company in a board room. 

So I guess this is a goodbye of sorts. Goodbye to trying to please or emulate others. Goodbye to trying to be something I’m not. Goodbye to this blog format I’ve been trying to follow for years. This is MY site and you know what I’m gonna upload whatever the fuck I please. Maybe some photography, maybe some of the poetry I’ve written, I don’t know yet but I am gonna try make sure it will be 100% me! 

Ps. I wrote this post on a PACKED luas home. V on brand for the real me. 


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